Thanks and Then Some

Posted by Gabe on October 7, 2010 under Kids are Heroes | 6 Comments to Read

As many of you already know, thanks to our supporters, my daughter MaryMargaret, the founder of Kids Are Heroes, recently won a contest hosted by Discovery Girls Magazine.  This is an international magazine for “tween” girls 7-12 that covers many of the issues these young girls have to deal with on a regular basis.  MaryMargaret has subscribed to this magazine for a few years now, and this is how we came to know about this competition.

The concept of the contest is that kids send in their applications and 30 finalists would be chosen.  From that 30 the top ten would be gleaned by voting for them on the Discovery Girls web site.  This voting took place from September 1 through September 30th.  As it turned out they chose the top 12 since the votes were so close.  3000 girls had sent in their applications and 57,000 votes were counted.  In the end MaryMargaret was selected as a finalist and then chosen as one of the top 12.  The prize is that she and her mom will be flown to California for a photo shoot for the 10th anniversary issue of their magazine.  This is something that we are all very excited about as this will be a wonderful opportunity for MaryMargaret and great press for Kids Are Heroes to boot.

Something has bothered me about this all along, however.  I have been queasy from the start about asking people to vote.  As it turned out there were two other heroes from the web site who were involved in the same competition.  We were very relieved that both Calista and Kennedy were chosen as well.  However, during the entire procedure they were pitted against each other in this competition.  This is the opposite of what our mission tells us to do at Kids Are Heroes.  We promote collaboration and network building among these children so they can support each other later in life.  As the competitive juices (which naturally flow in most of us) heat up, you can’t help but feel a small tinge of resentment toward the other competitors.  Now before I go any further I want to make it clear that I do not harbor any ill feelings towards the editors of the magazine itself.  They publish a magazine that is designed to be in business, just like all other magazines.  They are properly involved in social media and using the trend wisely.  This voting system attracted many more people to their web site which boosted their analytics which is what their advertisers are looking for.  They are smart business people so they are not at fault here.  But again I couldn’t help but feel bad about the whole process.  My own brother wouldn’t vote for MaryMargaret until I told him that the votes were more for Kids Are Heroes than they were for her.  He saw it as a popularity contest.  Unfortunately, when there’s voting involved, it’s hard not to classify it as just that.

A few weeks before the results were announced, I asked MaryMargaret why she wanted to win the contest, besides getting press for Kids Are Heroes.  ”I want to go to California with Calista and Kennedy.” was her response.  Fair enough, I thought.  This will be a great experience for her and her motives seem to be good about it. Quite frankly it will also look good on her “resumé” as these days you can’t be too young to start thinking about these things.

I will say that towards the end I second guessed myself, asking why it was so important to me that she won.  How could I argue against the fact that I was trying to “win” this competition so my kid could be in an international magazine?  It certainly would outwardly appear that way.  But I have always felt that fame and recognition are not what I want for my daughter.  As a matter of fact, I absolutely do not want her to have fame when she grows up unless it’s a “Jane Goodall” type of fame.  I would not trade my life or anyone else’s for that of a celebrity these days.  I wanted her to win because I think it can be a great spring board for Kids Are Heroes.  We are still a fledgling organization that is being hit hard by the economy.  We need a much bigger groundswell of supportive participants and maybe someone with a little bit of clout to help champion it.  And maybe, just maybe, that can happen through the extra exposure we will get from this contest.

So again I must thank those of you who voted sincerely as we would not have been granted this opportunity without your efforts.  We are all truly humbled and grateful.  And you’ll be happy to know that it will be quite a long time, if ever, that we participate is something like this again.

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  • Carter & Olivia Ries said,

    Gabe,

    Hats off to you and MaryMargaret. She did a great job and your position trough the entire process was commendable.

    Congratulations from our entire OMG Team ;-)

  • Gabe said,

    Thanks – that means a lot. :)

  • Gail P said,

    You’re very welcome. I am thrilled that the 3 girls are going to California. They will be a dynamic trio!

  • Michelle O'Neill said,

    Gabe,
    I know that this was a difficult process for all of us. MaryMargaret seemed to be more concerned that Kennedy and Calista be choosen instead of herself. That speaks volumes. How fortunate it is that all 3 will get to share memories that will last a lifetime.

    I too, hated asking people to vote. I began to feel like a politician and became embarrassed as I was afraid I would be judged by pushing people to vote for my child, “MaryMargaret” while taking Kids are Heroes out of the equation. We all weathered the storm and finally
    hit dry land.

    We love you, MaryMargaret and Michelle

  • Diana said,

    Very nice post Gabe! I shared my feelings with you on the voting thing and I too understand why companies do it, I just think sometimes they forget to look at the bigger picture. I think about the kids….as adults sure we think the publicity, but even kids who are caring are still human and still have feelings and you have to think about how they feel. The first thing Bailey said to me was, “Mom, MaryMargaret and Kennedy both asked me to vote for them…what am I going to do?” And being the caring child, she also felt bad about Calista even though she personally had not met her but sort of feels like she too is a part of this family she has joined. In this case it was a simple fix…we used all the family emails and gave each kid equal votes each day.

    I told you we read all of the entries and in the end, we still thought the three we voted for were outstanding role models! I am very passionate about kids being part of community service and this being an example other kids need to be looking up to and these three were the strongest with community service. I think it becomes the popularity contest because people are going to vote for who they are asked to support without even looking at the others. Bailey is in this JCPenney vote now and the other day someone posted they wanted to vote for a specific child and could not figure out how to. Even though it was not for her, Bailey was polite and told the person how to find where to vote. This person had not even seen the other finalists…that is a popularity contest. I think the kids see this and end up thinking well what I do doesn’t really matter, it is just that I have enough friends and my parents have enough friends to make things happen. With $50,000 involved and publicity that could bring in even more, we naturally are begging and pleading people to vote….but in the end Bailey wonders how many people actually read her essay that she put a lot of time into writing.

    Personally I prefer the unbiased panels who cast the votes based on looking at what the child is doing and what they presented. Put the finalists up for a vote on who gets the cover or some other special recognition and you still as a company get your exposure…but the kids are already all winners. We all know that the girls who did not make it the next day were thinking I wish I had more friends and knew more people….I don’t think that is what our kids should be learning. Bailey is up against Boys and Girls Club and 4-H…based on that information she told me the other day that she already knows she will take third place because they have bigger mailing lists than she does…it is the kids learning that is is not what they do but who has the biggest connections that really makes me regret these kind of things.

  • Gabe said,

    Diana,

    Truer words were never said. Even when panels decide they often times judge by how much money was raised which boils down to how well connected the child and his/her parents are. That is why we try and paint the kids on the Kids Are Heroes web site with the same brush, because in the end it’s about learning how to give of yourself. As Michelle said, MaryMargaret was just as concerned that Kennedy and Calista made it as she cared about herself. If we can maintain that attitude in our children then we are a step ahead of the game.

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