Keeping Things Positive

Posted by Gabe on September 24, 2009 under Social Media | 6 Comments to Read

Be Positive!Yesterday I was witness to an incident on Twitter that was a bit disturbing to me.  I won’t go into too much detail as I would like the flames to be extinguished. I also don’t claim to be an expert on this subject, but am here to offer some common sense about what I was involved with.

What happened was one of my Twitter colleagues called out another on her blog, saying that what he was working towards indeed was not working, and even got personal suggesting he had other motives.  What ensued was a whirlwind of support for the accused that came close to absolutely burying the accuser with noone in her corner to support her.  She ended up apologizing at the end, but certainly damage was done.

Now it turns out that both the accuser and the accused work toward the greater good.  Before this happened then, they were on the same side.  Even after the apology the wounds were still raw and I am not sure that the two sides will ever be able to meet.

The lesson that I believe everyone should take from this is don’t get personal in social media. Period.  At least when it comes to being negative about others.  You may have a blog that is not even that popular, but when you call someone out, positively or negatively, Google will find it.  So if people do their due diligence before they enter a relationship with either party, they typically use Google to see what has been written about them.  And there it is. If you are the accuser you may not care. “Great – they deserve that!”, you might think.  But what you are not ready for is the backlash that could (and did) happen when you accuse.  Many more people blogged in support of the accused thus dragging the accuser’s name negatively out in the Google arena. Nobody needs that.

Now how I am involved with this is that I happen to be a Twitter friend of both parties.  Before this happened I had the utmost respect for both of them.  They are both very talented people.  Had the accuser offered her expertise in the beginning instead of ranting, a lot of good could have come from that.  There is so much more value in a team working together towards a positive goal than individuals cutting each other down – there is absolutely no value in this.

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  • Trish Baker said,

    Teamwork means respect too.:)

  • Kyra said,

    Here’s where my mom’s advice always comes in handy, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all”.

  • Ryan Biddulph said,

    In a situation like this there’s no right or wrong; just poorly chosen thoughts and feelings.

    The moment that somebody attempts to portray me in a negative light, I kill them with kindness. I know that it’s THEIR thinking, and I can’t control that, so I try not to take it personally.

    I had a similar instance on twitter. Someone tried to get my goat, I RT’ed them into oblivion ;) I thanked them for their opinion and wished them the best, before blocking of course. When somebody directs negativity at me I smile and get out of the way. It’s not my responsibility to associate with such people.

    Great blog Gabe. I’m looking forward to future posts.

    RB

  • Gabe said,

    Hi Ryan,

    I agree that if you become entangled in a mess like that the best road to take is the high one. The low road leads nowhere. Thanks for your comment.

    -Gabe

  • Mickey Gomez said,

    Nicely stated, Gabe. I wholeheartedly welcome respectful debates and different points of view – it’s how we learn. However, I get tired of people complaining or accusing for the sake of drama, or for the sake of setting the stage to come in and “save the day” (often via advice and little action).

    I think people mistakenly feel like they can say anything via social media, that there are no repercussions, that they are somehow cloaked in anonymity, but (as we saw the other day, vividly) that’s not the case.

    I’ve met a lot of incredible people on Twitter, and while this incident disturbed me at first, the feeling slowly changed into a warm glow as I watched people rally to the defense of the accused, comment after comment after comment. It was truly inspiring.

  • Gabe said,

    Thanks Mickey,

    I actually believe the accuser has a lot to offer and could have really helped in a big way. I do not think she is naive, but I cannot wrap my head around the thinking behind it or lack thereof.

    Yes it was heartwarming to witness the rally, but I left the whole thing thinking of it as a wasteful exchange. The negative barbs that shot in both directions, even after the apology, left me thinking about what wonderful things that could have resulted had the accuser just offered her expertise in the first place.

    We’ll probably never know that. As always, thanks Mickey!

    -Gabe

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