Posted by Gabe on September 24, 2009 under Social Media | 
Yesterday I was witness to an incident on Twitter that was a bit disturbing to me. I won’t go into too much detail as I would like the flames to be extinguished. I also don’t claim to be an expert on this subject, but am here to offer some common sense about what I was involved with.
What happened was one of my Twitter colleagues called out another on her blog, saying that what he was working towards indeed was not working, and even got personal suggesting he had other motives. What ensued was a whirlwind of support for the accused that came close to absolutely burying the accuser with noone in her corner to support her. She ended up apologizing at the end, but certainly damage was done.
Now it turns out that both the accuser and the accused work toward the greater good. Before this happened then, they were on the same side. Even after the apology the wounds were still raw and I am not sure that the two sides will ever be able to meet.
The lesson that I believe everyone should take from this is don’t get personal in social media. Period. At least when it comes to being negative about others. You may have a blog that is not even that popular, but when you call someone out, positively or negatively, Google will find it. So if people do their due diligence before they enter a relationship with either party, they typically use Google to see what has been written about them. And there it is. If you are the accuser you may not care. “Great – they deserve that!”, you might think. But what you are not ready for is the backlash that could (and did) happen when you accuse. Many more people blogged in support of the accused thus dragging the accuser’s name negatively out in the Google arena. Nobody needs that.
Now how I am involved with this is that I happen to be a Twitter friend of both parties. Before this happened I had the utmost respect for both of them. They are both very talented people. Had the accuser offered her expertise in the beginning instead of ranting, a lot of good could have come from that. There is so much more value in a team working together towards a positive goal than individuals cutting each other down – there is absolutely no value in this.
Posted by Gabe on September 16, 2009 under Kids are Heroes |
Ayla and her new service dog Princess Shasta
Back in February we added a new hero named Mark Rinkel, who helps families all over the country acquire diabetic service dogs. (See Mark’s bio here.) Mark’s brother suffers from Type 1 Diabetes which is the harshest kind. The service dogs, if trained properly, can detect when a patient is reaching a dangerous low and then alert family members ahead of time.
It was at the same time that we told you of a four-year-old girl in Oregon named Ayla that Mark was working with to get a new service dog. It turned out that the service dog she had was suffering from cancer so she needed a replacement. They bought a new dog named Lily and attempted to train it. At that time, Ayla’s family was threatened with eviction because of the apartment complex’s “No Dogs Allowed” policy. It did not appear relevant to the landlord that the animals were service dogs, protected by the ADA. See the news report about the eviction here.
To add further stress to the situation, Lily didn’t make it as a service dog, so they needed another replacement. We put out feelers around the country asking for someone to donate an animal to this needy family. Nothing came of it and I fell out of touch with the situation.
Since Kids Are Heroes Day is coming up soon, I recently contacted all the heroes’ parents to extend them an invitation. Unfortunately Mark cannot be there this year, but I asked if the situation was ever resolved with Ayla. What an amazing resolution! Mark convinced an expert from Alert Dogs into searching for the right dog for Ayla and instilling the training. Mark won a grant from Noble Oil to pay for the project (It would not have been possible without this!). After many months they found “Princess Shasta” – a half bichon frise and half schnauzer. Because the family had returned a scam dog, lost a fantastic dog to cancer, and had a puppy fail in the training stage due to the incredible stress from the discrimination at their apartment complex, Mark’s family spent a month with the dog ensuring she was going to be successful. Mark helped potty train her, while Jason helped to make sure she could alert to a real life diabetic low, and the whole family tested her out for public access issues. And then Mark and Jason got to deliver her to Oregon.
Mark and his brother Jason take Princess to Oregon
Within a week of having Princess the mom and dad were able to get a baby sitter and go out for an evening (the first in years). The instructions were to check Ayla at 6pm and 8pm. At 7pm Princess signaled there was a problem. The babysitter checked, and Ayla was slightly low. She was able to treat her without a life-threatening problem. Had she waited until 8pm it might have been a very different ending.
On a side note, HUD has just found in their favor in the discrimination case. In fact, they stated that it was the worst case of discrimination they have ever seen in Oregon. HADCO, the federal agency in charge of the low income housing now has 30 days to settle with the family and submit to discrimination training or the government will shut them down.
I remember the frustration I felt for this family when I first heard about it. I am so glad it was resolved positively. Congratulations Mark – your persistence definitely paid off.
Posted by Gabe on September 11, 2009 under Wags for Hope |
In early 2006 my dog Charlie did something really special. He founded a local pet therapy organization called Wags for Hope here in Frederick, MD. I will never forget the instant that this group was born. We had been visiting a local nursing home for about two years when our curiosity got the best of us. We wondered what it would be like to try another location. Charlie is a 120 lb. Bernese Mountain Dog who is a tad intimidating to some at first, so I wondered what kind of reception we would get. As we walked through the doors of the assisted living facility, the nurse announced us over the loudspeaker: “There’s a huge dog out here in the lobby!” All of a sudden I looked down both hallways and saw doors opening. Walkers and wheelchairs appeared from all over and slowly converged on him. Charlie sensed my nervousness and immediately sat down – he looked right at me as if to say “Don’t sweat it – I’ll take care of this one!”
He sat calmly and patiently let everyone dote over him. It was an amazing sight. “When are you coming back? When will we see Charlie again?” Wow! I have to get people to help me do this, I thought. That was the instant that Wags for Hope was born.
Three years have passed and I have been president of the organization ever since. Wags for Hope is a 501c3 non-profit organization boasting well over 100 members visiting people in nursing homes, hospitals, assisted living facilities and elderly day care centers in four counties in Maryland and West Virginia. Volunteers are also taking their dogs to schools helping kids learn to read by allowing them to read to their dogs. They visit disabled children at another facility. WFH has even started a new program called “Wagging PALS” where they match shelter animals with seniors living alone. You won’t find a better bunch of people – anywhere – period. Everyone at that organization is a volunteer.
The bittersweet decision I recently made was to step down as president of Wags for Hope. I obviously have a lot invested emotionally in this organization, but I realized I was doing the group more of a disservice by remaining on. Our work with Kids Are Heroes has engulfed my existence in the last year and things were simply not getting done on the Wags for Hope side. Our board met this week to plan out a new path for the organization and adopted an interim president. Her name is Meg and I couldn’t have hand picked a better person to take this organization to the next level. I brought all the issues I saw to the table and the board members were very quick to suggest solutions. I feel very confident that not only will Charlie’s legacy be upheld, but that this group will benefit and thrive as a result of this change. Wags for Hope has an extremely bright future.
I plan to stay on to help bridge the transition as best as I can for as long as is needed. I will still take Charlie out to visit under their umbrella from time to time as well. I even plan to enter him in their pet fashion show at the FSK Mall in May of 2010. Haven’t selected his outfit yet…
If you have an animal and you would like to share him or her with others, I highly encourage you to seek out a local pet therapy group. In my experience, the volunteers gain as much if not more than the residents do. There are plenty of ways your dog can get involved and the feeling of having your animal put smiles on so many faces of others is priceless.
Posted by Gabe on September 9, 2009 under Kids are Heroes |
Ever since I joined Twitter in late December of 2008 my primary goal has been to tell as many people about Kids Are Heroes as I can. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but at least we will discover the ones whose tea it is, I thought. I never imagined what else would come of it when I started. That is that I would meet real people and have real relationships via this silly “tweeting” platform. I honestly feel we have a group of cheerleaders that are helping our cause along the way, sending us kids who have done wonderful things, freely giving advice, blogging, retweeting, etc. The other night was fun when we took our family downtown with two Bernese Mountain dogs in tow when Catherine (@cdigennaro) recognized us, and stopped to say hello.
In the beginning I also had no idea to what extent social networking would help our cause. We have so far had many people that have written about us and even have taught about us because of our interactions. We had a major coup by being featured first on Richard Branson’s premiere episode of PitchTV. This was all directly due to our involvement with social media, especially Twitter. Still I feel that we can do better. There are many other people out there with more writing talent than I, with more critical connections than I when it comes to public relations. Our goal since the onset has been to make Kids Are Heroes a globally recognized organization and also make it my life’s work. I have never been one to sit by the phone and wait for things to happen. So that is why we are looking for a special PR person or agency to help take us to the next level. We would love to be featured on shows like the Today Show, GMA, (what was her name again? O yeah) Oprah and be written up in major print media across the country. I also think we deserve it – not because of me or even my daughter MaryMargaret’s involvement alone - it is because of all the kids we feature on our web site. They collectively bring the power to what we represent. Each and every one of them are doing amazing things to help others. They are going to replace us in society as they grow older and I am so hopeful that things can only improve when that happens. If people take a moment to learn what I know about what these kids are doing, they will share the warmth and enthusiasm I hold with me every single day.
Kids Are Heroes is not a money-making venture – not even a money-breaking-even venture. So far we have not taken a dime from anyone and I suspect it will remain that way for a while. Neither MaryMargaret or I are independently wealthy either, so that is why we are primarily looking for talented people that will assist us pro bono. If you have a blog site and you feel it appropriate, please write about us – we will add you to our press box. (Get KAH logo here.) If you work for a newspaper or magazine consider a story. There are plenty to choose from and we may even have a hero or two in your area. If you have the connections to major media outlets, please consider helping us. Reading about or seeing kids who do amazing things for others sure beats looking at victims of whatever heinous transgression or accident that may be today’s feature on the front page. Anytime. Period.
Now is a great time to talk about Kids Are Heroes because of Kids Are Heroes Day which is scheduled for Saturday, October 24th in Frederick, MD. (See the press release for Kids Are Heroes Day.) All the kids from the web site are invited to participate so that they can raise awareness about what they are doing and be recognized as well. So far three heroes from out of state are scheduled to come, one as far away as San Diego, CA! Others are raising funds so that they can join their spiritual friends in Frederick. If last year’s event is any indication, this promises to be an extremely heartwarming event. My sister Maureen came from Canada last year to witness it and she used one word to describe her feelings when the kids were on stage: “verklempt“.
Some people have told me that we do not need a PR person, that we are doing fine on our own. My thinking is that I will continue to spread the word as best as I can, but the more people that do it the merrier. If you think you would like to help us, I thank you in advance. Please contact me directly if interested, and I will supply whatever materials needed. Thank you! :)
Posted by Gabe on September 1, 2009 under Family |
Back in the late 70’s or early 80’s (not sure of the exact time) I joined the Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America. At this point I can’t remember my motivation for doing so, it was just something I wanted to try. I was in my early to mid 20’s at the time. My sister’s husband had done it and I guess that’s how I found out about it. Anyway I do remember telling the people in the organization to “go easy on me.” After all I had no training and selfishly didn’t want a boy I thought might be too difficult for me to handle. It wasn’t long after that that I met my new little brother whose name was Billy. He was my nephew’s age and for that reason I took them both out on several occasions. But for the most part when we would go out it would be just Billy and me. He was always polite but didn’t have much to say. I wasn’t much better as I had no real skills for this kind of thing. As I look back on it I was not very inventive with our get-togethers – it would usually be lunch and a movie. I never really could tell if I was having any impact, or for that matter if he ever really enjoyed our visits. After all, he was a boy who just wanted to be a teenager. I also remember that the BBBS organization did do right by me – I never felt that Billy really “needed” a big brother. His mom did such a great job that she gave him all the parenting he could ever want or need. So I was off the hook for any responsibility. Nevertheless I do remember enjoying his company. I attended a few of his football games. It was when he got hurt during a game once that I realized how much I really cared for this boy. I stood over him with tears that I was trying to hide as he lay there wincing in pain. I asked myself if it’s this bad now what will I do with my own children?
I distinctly remember that I initiated all of our meetings. For some reason I thought I would be teaching him something if I stopped calling him. He would learn that it was his turn to call me. This would teach him a valuable lesson, I thought. I was wrong. He never called and of course I was too proud. We lost touch. He was just a kid that needed some guidance and I didn’t know how to give it to him.
I’m not sure but I seem to remember I had been seeing him for about three years or so before I stopped seeing him. I always regretted how it ended. Stupid – I thought. He had a dad who left him and now his big brother did the same thing. He was a normal teenager and I was an immature 20 something. Over the years I would think about him – wonder how he was doing. I would make small efforts to find him with no result. And then it happened. Just a couple of weeks ago I thought of him and wondered if I could find him on Twitter or Facebook. His last name was not that common, but common enough that there would be others. No luck on either platform. Then I tried Google. I got a few hits. One led me to a company in Gaithersburg that had a person by that name. There was an email address…
The response came: “Hey Gabe, I was that bratty kid that you used to put up with…” Wow!! I never even thought it through – what if I actually did find him? What then? But the feeling was much more amazing than I ever imagined. Our first conversation was on the phone – we spoke for over an hour. It was weird hearing his voice that had changed so dramatically since the last time I heard it. I could honestly say that we had more dialogue in that time than in the previous three years we knew each other. We met today for lunch. It was so cool to see him – he looks great and (no thanks to me) turned out wonderfully. He has three kids of his own that he obviously dotes on and adores. It seemed that the whole time we were holding back the words as they were coming out so fast and there were so many more right behind them. After two quick hours we felt it best to stop as we both have jobs, but I knew we could have just kept going and going. I am so glad I reached out to him. His oldest son plays hockey which is a sport I am crazy about. His daughter is MaryMargaret’s age. I can’t wait to get the kids together. I so look forward to resuming this relationship – I just hope I don’t mess it up again.
I write this post for two reasons. The first one is because it is cathartic for me to write about stuff like this. After all, this kind of thing doesn’t happen every day. The second reason is to offer a very positive reconnection story. If there is a reader out there who is in a similar situation and always wondered what it would be like to reconnect with someone, here is a great example. I know that all stories won’t turn out this way, but what would have happened if I didn’t make the effort? Nothing. With all the negativity that faces us these days, savor the connections you have with important people in your lives.
